Pompey Pocket Rocket Eleven

Pompey Pocket Rocket Eleven

A small but perfectly formed formation. Just don’t expect them to win too many balls in the air


Norman Uprichard

Standing a proud 5’ 9” in his stockinged feet, Irishman Uprichard snatches the goalkeeping duties away from Japanese shot stopper Yoshi Kawaguchi (an inch taller at 5’ 10”). Uprichard’s more than made up for a relative lack of height with his trademark springy, cat-like agility.

John Beresford

The tippy-toed full-back could use his floppy bad 80s haircut as an excuse for his total lack of prowess in the air, but then again it’s more likely down to the fact that he was a mere 5’ 6” from fringe to foot.

Andy Awford

Typically your no-nonsense, bog standard, clogging English centre half comes in somewhere in the region of 6’ 4” plus. At 5’ 9” the Pompey stalwart was comfortably below the prerequisite height for the position, but his intelligent reading of the game meant he was never caught short.

Jason Rees

The weeny Welshman was primarily a scuttling midfield grafter but he often turned out for Pompey in the defence as a right wing back. His finest moment in a XS Pompey shirt came in the last day survival exploits at Huddersfield, where his tireless running saw him cover every blade of grass - which was to be applauded as some off them were as long as he was.

Terry Brisley

Another 5’ 6”er, Brisley was an energetic midfielder with the happy knack of getting to the back stick at the right time to notch a goal. It was a trick ‘Far Post’ performed 45 times in 206 appearances in Pompey blue. Not bad for a little ‘un.

Bobby Kellard

As previously reported on this site, hard nut Kellard (pictured above) possessed a pair of thighs that resembled a couple of hairy Giant Redwoods. The fulsomeness of his femurs was exacerbated by his diminutive 5' 5" stature, which was more akin to a bonsai. 

Alessandro D’Alessandro

The ultra-talented Argentine was a wizard with the ball at his feet and a lot of this was down to his low centre of gravity – which was in turn down to the fact he wasn’t much taller than the corner flag. He could have been Pompey’s Messi had he stayed.

Sammy Igoe

Little Sammy tipped the height charts at 5’ 6” and was a buzzy performer across the midfield. On his day he could be a genuine match winner, and when it wasn’t he was sent straight to detention – due to his resemblance to a naughty schoolboy.

Jimmy Easson

Wee Jimmy Easson measured 5’ 5” and weighed in at a paltry 10 stone (which is exactly half a Micky Quinn), but this miniature marvel gave great service to the club during the 1930s – forming a prolific partnership with John ‘Steamboat’ Weddle.

Jermaine Defoe

Harry Redknapp was always comfortable playing the little man feeding off the big man combination up front. This was taken to the nth degree when the pint-sized predator Defoe was paired with Peter Crouch, a 6’ 7” striker who towered above him by a clear foot.

Conor Chaplin

The fox cub in the box is a natural goalscorer as his instinctive flick 'n' header strike in front of the Fratton End against Wycombe in 2016 will always testify. The likeable Chaplin is from from Worthing but joined Pompey at the age of six and was regarded on the terrace as one of our own. His departure from the club for pastures sky blue was met with genuine sadness from the Fratton Faithful.